Dexter

The Writing Always Comes After
Wednesday April 11, 2007
Soumis par / Posted by Dexter

The writing  always comes after:

after (enough) time has passed

after one wakes from sleep out of an intense dream

after a feeling that intuition has failed

and there is only conscious reason to try

and understand what happened.

(I am not saying this is the best way to go about things,

but this is what happens)

 

She told me she loved me

But kept her heart locked away for safe keeping.

She accused me of being faint of heart.

I was guilty as charged.

 

She loved me

with an anger (?)

I did not know how to accept

or engage with.

 

I roll these two (of the many) explanations of ‘why’ over in my mind.

They come out feeling too reductive,

too simplistic

and somewhat,

in some moments,

difficult to handle…

 

My own feelings are absent here.

I don’t write about my feelings

because I cannot remember how I felt.

What I do remember:

I fell out of love with everything at the same time-

Became flatman. (Another explanation)

 

I am still not sure I know what love is.

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