Maurice
I've changed my mind about gay weddings.
The queer argument against marriage seems to be that it's a breeder's institution and that if homos starts getting married, we're being normalized. The straight argument is that if you want equality, take it and be grateful.
But the catch is that marriage doesn't mean what it used to. I'm less against it because there is less to it. I can't get excited about it, but I also can't say I'm being a radical queer fighting it. I'm at a point where I don't know what there is to oppose. It's a legal deal and the laws have all changed. It's no longer the overtly repressive union it used to be. It's no longer religious, economic, about life-long commitment, or kids. People do it for kicks, for the party, or for love, for as long as it lasts. Marriage as an institution has changed a lot-- for straights too. At least now everyone can decide for themselves. At least the next generation of kids are growing up in a world not knowing what the fuss is about. You marry who you want, guy or girl, which really doesn't feel like something worth opposing.
That said, I don't think it's particularly healthy to organize your whole life around your wedding day. Some of us will have unconventional marriages, some of us will marry a lover we have been living with for 30 years already, and some of us won't marry at all. There's more to life than wedding bells.
All I know is that I went to a wedding this summer and it was real. I was so convinced that no one would ever take two women getting married seriously. I was so sure that it would look like a pretend wedding, that I'd get embarrassed for the brides, and that the whole thing would be a statement. But it wasn't, it was just a wedding.
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