Though they might not stalk you and force you to get a restraining order, some exes still won't go gently into the night. Geneviève Sara Grenier explores the good, the bad and the ugly in a lesbian break-up.
Here's a mostly harmless suggestion for you: if and when you break up with your girlfriend, move to another province. When you run out of provinces, be grateful there are now three territories instead of two. This gives you more options to escape/hide from your ex. Yay Nunavut!
Break-ups can be difficult enough between straight people. However, imagine a break-up that involves two highly emotional lesbians! For some, a break-up, though sad, can be quite healthy and constructive for both parties involved. For others, a break-up can be messy and petty, making it even more painful. And for an unfortunate few, a break-up can be downright codependent, just like the relationship was, making it even more gut and heart wrenching.
I've categorized these break-ups as being good, bad and ugly. Having been through more than my share of the last two, here are a few possible scenarios to help you understand what constitutes a healthy, unhealthy and just plain insane break-up.
A good break-up is when:
You realize you and your partner are just not putting 100% of your time, energy and emotion into the relationship anymore. You both agree it's time to move on without over-analyzing what should have and could have been done to make the relationship work. You already know.
A bad break-up is when:
You're telling anyone who'll listen why your ex wouldn't, shouldn't or couldn't make the relationship work, by exposing her flaws, her weaknesses and her deepest darkest secrets. You start a blog so strangers can witness how horrible she was in bed. Please note I said a blog, not a column.
An ugly break-up is when:
You both play the BLAME GAME and over-process what should have and could have been done to make the relationship work. You both spend days emailing each other, talking on the phone and crying on each other's shoulder whenever you meet. You also occasionally have sex with one another with the solemn promise that this will be the very last time…and it never is.
A good break-up is when:
You realize you aren't emotionally responsible for your ex anymore, nor she for you. This doesn't mean you're heartless and selfish. It just means you're taking care of your emotional well-being first, whereas before you might not have been.
A bad break up is when:
You keep calling and emailing your ex to make sure she's ok and that she doesn't hate you. You're doing this because you still need her to be responsible for your emotional well-being under the pretext that you care about hers.
An ugly break-up is when:
Your ex takes you out to lunch in order to make sure that you really understand you've indeed broken up. She also wants to make sure that you're not having any fun without her. She also gets upset if you don't want to hang out with her…mostly because she won't be there to monitor how many times you're laughing or smiling throughout the day.
A good break-up is when:
You go out and meet new people in order to enlarge your circle of friends because you and your ex knew all the same lesbians.
A bad break up is when:
You're resentful because your ex is going out and meeting new people while you're at home eating and drinking too much. You're also wearing some of her clothes she left behind. If you're not wearing them, you're sniffing them in order to get her scent.
An ugly break-up is when:
You go out and make new friends and bring your ex along. You then spend the rest of the evening talking to her because she's complaining that no one else will.
A good break-up is when:
After an acceptable amount of time, you decide you're ready to date again.
A bad break-up is when:
You're searching for a new girlfriend while still dating the old one.
An ugly break-up is when:
You bring your ex along with you on the date so that she can give her thumb's up or down on the potential new girlfriend.
And last but not least…
A good break-up is when:
You're in a new relationship and trying not to repeat the same mistakes you made during the last one.
A bad break-up is when:
Your new girlfriend is your ex's ex.
An ugly break-up is when:
You constantly call up your ex to ask for her advice on your new relationship.
Go ahead! I dare you! Share your worst break-up story.
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ahha! I did the web-whining-about-my-ex-cuz-I-m-so-emo , still love your humour et je peux t’imaginer live parler comme tu écris aha 5 à 7 POWA! ;)
— Mélanie Mar 13, 02:40 #Experiences are unique! Giving a 100% in your relationship…crazy! Instead, giving 100% in your life!
— Bich Mar 23, 22:38 #