Just because you love your partner, doesn't mean you have to dress like her. Geneviève Sara Grenier explores how the Dyke-Alike Couple Syndrome is easy to contract.
Here's a harmless coincidence for you: A few years ago, a bunch of friends and I, along with our girlfriends, would all shop at Reitmans for our clothing. We were becoming not only dyke-alike in our couplehood, but dyke-alike in our friendships as well. We had contracted D.A.C.S.
When we realized our wardrobes were practically identical, we all agreed to stop shopping at the same place. Consequently, in its first fiscal quarter, the store lost a few million dollars. While I’ve no concrete proof it's because of us, I personally still feel a wee bit responsible.
Getting infected by D.A.C.S. doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a long, slippery slope that transpires for any number of reasons, and always with disastrous outcomes. For instance, I must confess that, in the past, I've allowed my girlfriends to pick out my wardrobe for me. I did this because if they liked what I was wearing, then they would continue to find me attractive. Also, I really disliked shopping and was more than happy to have someone do the dirty work for me. However, problems ensued when I became fashion impaired as a result.
For example, a few years ago, my girlfriend at the time would buy all our clothes at Value Village, or Village des Valeurs for the francophone readers. Whenever she bought us anything that was more expensive, the clothing usually came from Walmart.
Now while this may seem like I'm ex-girlfriend bashing, what I'm trying to prove is that I had absolutely no fashion taste whatsoever, not that she was extremely cheap. No really, I am.
Lesbians can also suffer from a severe case of D.A.C.S. when the following scenario takes place:
I think it's safe to say that we've all been in situations where some mornings we wake up and realize with horror we're out of clean clothes. Knowing full well there’s no way in hell that the clothes on the floor will pass the sniff test, we look over at our girlfriend's side of the closet and hope springs anew. With a sweet, slightly pleading tone, we ask if we can wear something of hers. More often than not, the ever so amiable girlfriend will acquiesce.
However, once you’ve pulled this stunt once or twice, she’ll eventually become annoyed that she’s now out of clean clothes. Consequently, the girlfriend will go out and buy you the exact same shirt, sweater or pair of pants, perhaps in a different colour, perhaps not. Before you know it, your respective wardrobes start blending together and you can no longer tell where your side of the closet begins and hers ends.
Another disastrous effect of D.A.C.S. is when you meet people for the first time and they have difficulty remembering who you are. They continuously confuse you for your partner and vice versa. This can be frustrating at parties. Not to mention incriminating in public when the police mistake you for your girlfriend who is being pursued by the law.
You may say I'm exaggerating and point out that some couples will avoid catching D.A.C.S. simply because they don’t wear the same size clothing. I beg to differ.
Even if you're a size 8 and your girlfriend is a size 14, if your clothes look alike, you've been infected by D.A.C.S.
So let’s recap how lesbians can contract D.A.C.S.:
Let’s also recap the tragic results of D.A.C.S.:
How can one become immune to D.A.C.S. you ask?
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Awesome and funny article! I agree for the interracial couple suggestion, that’s an infallible vaccine against D.A.C.S. – having tried it myself.
— spicypeanut Feb 12, 17:04 #Pink tutu and combat boots turn me on.
— Mélanie Feb 13, 02:35 #