Mostly Harmless

Trimming the bushes…or coughing up hair balls
Sunday February 25, 2007
Soumis par / Posted by GSGrenier

Shaving, trimming, waxing, lasers…just how do lesbians groom their hair?  Their pubic hair that is.  Geneviève Sara Grenier discusses pubic hairdos and what they mean.

Here's a harmless stereotype for you: most lesbians shave off all their pubic hair just like in porn movies.  At least this is what a few of my straight friends think, and not just the male ones.

A few weeks ago, I was listening to one of my straight colleagues talk about her boyfriend and his sexual predilections.  She explained how he would only go down on her as long as she had removed all her pubic hair. 

I immediately categorized her boyfriend as being a finicky vagitarian (see Vagina Schmagina…can't we all just get along?). However, upon further reflection, I may have been hasty in my sexist thinking.  Men and lesbians really aren't all that different when it comes to how they prefer the look and feel of their girlfriends' vulvas.  I had only to think back on a few of my exes to realize this.

In a recent survey I conducted, and by survey I mean a group of women around a table who gave me a show of hands, I was able to ascertain that there isn't just one pubic hairdo that exists among lesbians.  I also concluded that how a lesbian trims her bush says a lot about her personality.

Let's go down the list, shall we?

  • Au naturel: which requires no trimming or maintenance.  This pubic hairdo is usually worn by the single lesbian, the lazy lesbian or the militant lesbian who'll give you a speech about how she refuses to submit to patriarchy.  Most often the latter won't shave her legs or armpits either…on second thought the single and the lazy lesbians might not either.

 

  • Trimmed: which requires easy maintenance simply by shortening the length of the pubic hair.  This pubic hairdo is usually worn by the lesbian who still sports a mullet, aka hockey hair…or who had had the same haircut for 10 years. 

 

  • Triangle:  which requires pubic hair to be removed from the sides to form a triangle.  Hair length can be from an inch and a half, to half an inch.  This pubic hairdo is usually worn by the vain lesbian who takes time to look just as good with her clothes off as she does with her clothes on.  Also, she's really good in math, what with her obsession with geometric forms.

 

  • Brazilian wax: which requires pubic hair to be completely removed except for a narrow stripe above the vulva approximately an inch in size.  This patch of hair is called a landing strip.  You just know that term was coined by a straight guy.  I would have called it the line that points me in the right direction. 

According to a few testimonials from friends, depending on how high your threshold for pain is, a brazilian wax can be quite painful or moderately unpleasant.  This pubic hairdo is worn by the daredevil lesbians, the ones who laugh in the face of danger and spit in Death's face.  Or the masochistic lesbian…there's a fine line after all.

 

  • Dyed: self explanatory.   This pubic hairdo is worn by the fashionably conscious lesbian who likes to make sure her accessories, pubic hair included, match not just her eyebrows, but her jewellery and her footware.

 

  • Designer: which requires an imagination.  This pubic hairdo is worn by the artistic spontaneous lesbian and the porn star.  Neither are hindered by any social hang-ups.  They shape their pubic hair into hearts, arrows and their lovers' initials.   Think Chia pet on the crotch.

So for those of you who thought lesbians have vulvas that look like porn stars, you may be right.  Or you may be in for a pleasant surprise.


Commentaires / Comments


  1. you’re cute Miss Harmless..which lesbian are you?

    — spicypeanut    Feb 26, 21:57    #

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